Hobo

Sure, who doesn't want a homeless person ornament on their mantle? Especially one with exposed underwear. Ah, what treasure troves these antique stores are...

Monroe?

If this is someone showing what Marlene Dietrich would look like disguised as Marilyn Monroe, then well done. If not, then not.

What the what?

So, this antique-store gem seems to be a depiction of Stephen Fry's older sister, playing cricket with a juggler's club, wearing a safety hat and, let's be clear, pooping out a natty blue jacket. I think that covers everything.