On Things I Would Make Illegal

When I am God-King of the Universe, these are things that will be illegal. With punishments swift and severe: Serving a patron Pepsi when they specifically asked for Coke. Isn’t this supposed to be the home of freedom? Isn’t this the country that invented customer service? So what is this bullshit? Coke is not Pepsi. … Continue reading On Things I Would Make Illegal

On Being a Driving Teacher

When I tell my friends that my son has no real interest in driving, the reaction is universally one of surprise. For Americans of my generation, driving happened as soon as it could. Driving represented freedom from parents, access to move theaters, more time with friends and potential partners. Of course, this was the time … Continue reading On Being a Driving Teacher

On Xmas Traditions

As an Englishman abroad, Xmas can be a time of mixed feelings. Life in Austin is mostly wonderful, but it's easy to feel maudlin about family and friends so far away. Although distance does mean there's definitely less pressure on the present-buying front... Starting new traditions is basically a self-serving way of forming a holiday … Continue reading On Xmas Traditions

On the Weirdest Thing That’s Happened to Me…So Far

You know what’s a good ice-breaker? In parties, sitting on a park bench, tied to a complete stranger in a hostage situation, you need a question to start up the conversation. Something like, “What’s the weirdest thing that’s ever happened to you?” Of course, like all conversational opening gambits, you’re really only asking so you … Continue reading On the Weirdest Thing That’s Happened to Me…So Far