On Lying to Small Children

As the great Tom Selleck’s character Peter observed in 3 Men and a Baby, it doesn’t matter what you say to a baby, “it’s the tone you use.” And so this is how to talk to the baby. Agreeing with her observations in cheerful, supportive voices. “Dog,” she might proclaim, sticking a tiny, damp finger up … Continue reading On Lying to Small Children

On Puppies and Babies

Oh sure, we know our dogs aren't really babies. We know that. But, sometimes, it's hard to tell. Similarity to babies: we're responsible for making sure they eat right, get medical attention at the right time, and we pick up their poop. Differences: in my experience, if you bribe and threaten hard enough, this stage … Continue reading On Puppies and Babies

On Dogs, Babies…and Poop

I am old, so sometimes I find myself unnecessarily impatient with perfectly nice younger people. The kind of people who have babies and then post every minute of every day of their child's perfectly normal, average life on social media. "Jimmy doesn't sleep! Isn't he AMAZING?!" Having a child is amazing. It just makes me … Continue reading On Dogs, Babies…and Poop