I hate when it turns out that I represent an unimpressive negative national stereotype. But here it is: I can’t complain. If I have bad service, my revenge is to never go to that place again Or, at least, give them just one more chance, dammit. I don’t even do bad online reviews. Not anymore. … Continue reading Doggy DNA Part 3
I am not a great scientist. Let me put that out there first. At school, when it came to choosing which science I would focus on for the final two years of compulsory schooling (14-16), I chose physics, because that’s what boys did. Girls went for biology; mad scientists and bomb-makers chose chemistry. I didn’t … Continue reading On Doggy DNA, part 2
We have previously discussed the fascinating sociological issue of the secret pug-lovers societies dotted around the US (and, most likely, beyond). Having our three puppers means that we instantly, and without any option to opt out, have an entry into this cabal. And yet. Look at them. I look at these faces every day and … Continue reading On Doggy DNA
As the great Tom Selleck’s character Peter observed in 3 Men and a Baby, it doesn’t matter what you say to a baby, “it’s the tone you use.” And so this is how to talk to the baby. Agreeing with her observations in cheerful, supportive voices. “Dog,” she might proclaim, sticking a tiny, damp finger up … Continue reading On Lying to Small Children
Look, we're not born knowing how to do everything. Some things needs to be learned. How to dress for the job you want, rather than the job you have, for example. Or when to laugh at a Shakespeare comedy on a school trip (answer: when your teacher does). And, for me, it was beards. Oh, … Continue reading On Beards
I’m thinking of becoming one of those fancy lifestyle gurus, with a blog that tells you, the ignorant reader, how much better your life would be if only you did as I told you. I think my whole life has been building toward this point. Why am I suddenly so confident? Easy! I have changed … Continue reading On Self-Care
I did not realize that Gandhi had so much influence on Prince's spelling eccentricities. If true.
Cut-out-and-keep. You will need this at some point this week. I guarantee it.
So, I wondered to myself recently, what is the tell-tale sign that we’ve stopped writing about dystopias and are instead living in one? Just a random thought. Have you ever looked at your life skills, or lack thereof, and thought, “I would be absolutely useless in a Mad-Max-style global apocalypse”? I know it’s not just … Continue reading On What I Do Best
First, when did fortunes stop being actual predictions of the future and more like oddly specific advice/instructions? Second, the friend you take should probably be a copy editor. I'm saying there's a typo there.