Like tattoos and tea pots, once you get one pug, you might well find yourself getting another one.

Foolishly, my wife and I very much thought of ourselves as cat people but, as my son is allergic, we decided to make do with a dog instead. It’s a wonder we’re able to make it through life with such little self-knowledge between us. We asked at a rescue shelter for a lazy, loving, little dog, and they gave us “Sergeant Johnny”, who we very quickly renamed John Henry.

Very shortly after, we found out that inside each of us was an obsessive dog person waiting to get out.

Soon we decided John Henry needed a playmate, and we adopted Jordan from Pug Rescue Austin.

Jordan turned out to be an extremely cantankerous old lady and not at all interested in playing with other dogs, so we tried fostering.

Our first fosters were a bonded pair, Johnny Cash and June Carter, and we immediately knew we’d made a terrible mistake. There was no way these dogs would be adopted by anyone else…they were ours…

When Johnny Cash sadly passed away, we immediately formally adopted June, welcoming yet another cantankerous old lady and in no way providing a playmate for poor John Henry.

You know how people with rescue dogs always say something like “We rescued them…but really maybe they rescued us”? Well…let there be no doubt: we definitely rescued John Henry, Jordan, and June Carter. They are possibly the most pampered pugs in existence…and if you spend any time in the dark world of Instagram pet photography, you will know this is a bold claim…My mother-in-law says she’d like to be reincarnated as one of our pugs. And, without unpacking that too much, she’s not wrong. It would be a great life.

In gratitude for all we’ve given them, it is our trio’s most precious wish to become social media stars so that my wife and I can retire and dance around covered in those big endorsement dollars. So please feel free to follow them on the Instas. Their life stories are available for your edification here, here, and here. Only you can make one or all of them the next Grumpy Cat.

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