So you’re planning to adopt the JCs

Big JC and Little JC are the first dogs we’ve ever fostered, so they’re going to be hard to say goodbye to. We’ll miss their squishy faces, their little personality quirks, and their warm doggy breath in our faces; but maybe a full night’s sleep, a 50% reduction in dog poop, and lack of food-time drama will make up for it. Here’s hoping.

So, sure, the JCs have been challenging at times, but we have definitely bonded with them. If you’re taking them on, you better be good enough. And you better remember the following…

Big JC

Big JC is a really big pug.

He is not a lap dog unless you’re a superhero or the Mountain from GoT (RIP, Mr Mountain). The thing is, he doesn’t realize this clear and obvious fact himself, so there will be some lap crushing and severe genital bruising before you both sort out a system. We have found that Big JC likes to perch on the back of our sofa, which is quite a feat considering his mass, but he does it.

He snores like he really means it, which is off-putting at first but, weirdly, we have got used to the window-shaking industrial drill sound so often in the background of our lives now.

He is eerily well-trained for bedtime. He wanders into his crate and settles down with zero drama.

Never try to take his food. Just don’t.

Big JC walks mainly for exercise, especially before he knew us and the area well. He might occasionally have stopped to smell the roses – or pee – but that was the extent of his interest. We walked him every day and noticed that he pooped a total of one time. He was clearly someone who values the privacy of a yard. And that’s OK. More recently, he’s loosened up and joins in the general wanton land mining of the area that the other pups indulge in. I hope he’s all the better for it.

Before meeting the gang, Big JC was not a big barker. Now, well, he’s learned a bad habit or two. Let’s leave it at that.

When giving Big JC treats, present as little of your hand as possible as a target. He will attempt to swallow it all.

Is Big JC lost? Look behind you. I mean right behind you, practically sitting on your heel. There he is.

His poop is 98% slime.

Johnny Cash (his given name) is a quitter. No, maybe that’s too harsh. Not a quitter…but if he doesn’t get what he wants, he’ll wander a little way away, drop down to his stomach in a most dramatic way, and then watch you. And then he’ll sleep. 

Little JC

Little JC is tiny. Really really small.

Suddenly, our Miss Jordan seems full sized. June can be picked up in one hand very easily. She’s a Paris Hilton dog, but without the (whatever fancy name is cool now) handbag to travel around in.

Little JC’s snoring is not to the level of her pal, but she packs quite an audible punch when she’s at full power. 

She is, perhaps more than anything (except a napper; she’s a power-napper), a wanderer. She loves to take a diversion in an entirely different direction to where everyone else is going. Mostly, we find her shouting furiously at the fridge, presumably because she finds it closed when she most certainly would prefer it to be open. So, bedtime is a hit-and-miss affair as she heads off in generally the right direction, but she inevitably takes a right turn at Albuquerque and ends up back at the fridge. Early on, there was a 50-50 chance that she’d drop little poop mines as she went, but she seems to be out of that challenging little habit now.

Don’t leave her alone with other dogs when she’s eating. When her bowl is empty, she is not shy about trying someone else’s.

Unlike her larger partner, Little JC knows exactly what a walk is for. As long as it’s not too hot and she doesn’t have to go farther than her little legs can carry her, she happily potters along. She seems to build up a rhythm and doesn’t want to stop for anything – including a bathroom break. Her bow-legged gait as she pees and poops on the run is perhaps unique in the natural world.

Little JC’s bark is huge. It fills the spaces, and the spaces between the spaces. Her bark is mostly to get your attention or to let you know that you’re not getting her bowl to her fast enough. She is not a shy old lady.

Miss June can sit, but Miss June chooses not to. Even for a treat.

Is Little JC lost? Follow that noise. It’s not a satanically possessed child or a hound of hell…that’s the littlest pug you’ve ever seen, being absolutely furious at the side of a refrigerator.

Her poop is 50% undigested peanuts.

June Carter is officially the most stubborn lifeform on the face of this planet. The most stubborn that has ever been; the most stubborn that shall ever be. If she is barking for attention, she will bark until she gets attention. If she is barking for food, she will bark until she is fed. If you lock all four dogs into your office because the AC repair guy is trying to do his thing without interruption, then all four of your dogs will bark…but only one will keep barking until that door is opened, no matter how long that will be. And it will be June.

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