It is wrong to compare the personalities of your children. It is doubly wrong to then rank them in order of preference. Doing so on the internet is a monstrous act.

But, if your kids are in fact dogs, you’re OK; they can’t read…they’ll never know.

The question before us is this: Who’s better – John Henry & Jordan (the home team) or Johnny Cash & June Carter (esteemed house guests and foster pups)?

Let’s go through it, category by category.

Best names

OK, there our guests come out just ahead. They’re the golden couple of country music. And sure, our two are named after an American folk tale and … well, Jordan came as Jordan so who knows? But I will never get tired of sentences like “Johnny Cash pooped after breakfast” or “June Carter was howling from the back of the sofa.”

0–1

Reliability/trustworthiness

At first, going 24 hours without an “accident” was an achievement for our guests. After a month or so, they’re doing better, but Johnny Cash is still not to be trusted around chair legs or new rooms. He does like to assert his ownerships. On the other team, our kids do so much better here. John Henry will only poop inside if he has absolutely reached the end of his endurance. Jordan would rather pop than go toilet inside.

1–1

Cuteness

This is a tricky one. Obviously, our two are the cutest canines ever. Just look at them.

But then, Big JH looks like a cute old teddy bear. And Little JC looks like a puppy with grey hair.

Damn, I don’t know.

1.5–1.5

Behavior (outside)

John Henry adores everyone and wants to play with any dog he sees; he believes bike riders and skateboarders are evil and should be stopped. Jordan thinks anything that moves is a threat and must be approached accordingly. John Henry walks on a tight leash; Jordan walks late at night when all right-thinking folk are wrapped safe in their beds.

Big JC is generally oblivious during walks. He can’t walk in a straight line, which can be hazardous for what is basically a canine bowling ball, but he’s completely uninterested in anything in his environment. June Carter likes a short walk – she’s a poop-and-back-to-bed kind of girl.

1.5–2.5

Behavior (inside)

Sitting late(ish) one evening watching the TV with the guests, I realized that there was nothing on the screen that bothered them. While, for our two, any animal, close-up of a face, or doorbell sound sends them into a frenzy.

However, our two don’t wander around, threatening the furniture or the carpet. Nor do they stand by the food counter, yapping and yapping for a treat that is not going to come, Miss June.

2.5–2.5

Food

The home team does not steal each other’s treats. In fact, at meal times, JH finishes his food first, then lines up behind Jordan to help her clean her bowl once she’s done. Both will sit for treats, although we have low expectations of Jordan because of her dodgy knee. 

Big JC must be fed first or he will go on a rampage, stealing everyone else’s meal. Little JC must be fed at the same time. Big JC has twice tried to steal Jordan’s treats. He is a fool. As Little JC takes the last morsel of food from her bowl, she is already growling and looking to start a fight by pushing her face into Big JC’s bowl. I now keep them far apart and scoop her up as soon as she’s done.

3.5–2.5

So, it’s close but the winners are, without a doubt, the home team.

1 Comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.