As a visitor to your shores, I want to assure you that, despite appearances, you have a pretty great country here. I mean, you’re not Sweden, but you’re not Australia either. I know you know what I mean.

Traveling around the freeways and sideroads of this great country of yours, I see some quite amazing sights that could only happen in America (or Japan; everything is possible in Japan).

As a sum total of no one has asked, here’s my favorite slices of Americana from a recent trip.

These are apparently famous American cartoon hamsters. I’m calling them – front to back – Ron, Brian, and Bartholomew. Their hijinks will be the subject of an upcoming post (probably not).

I know you have questions: Was he holding a pint of beer or an ice-cream? Is he wearing underwear? What’s his phone number? All is ineffable in the world of roadside Americana.

I don’t think this is part of the display. I think this is a science experiment gone tragically awry. But it’s also a very satisfying thing to photograph. There is no morality in art, my friend.

A tribe of titans, made of fiberglass and 14 to 25 feet tall, stands watch along the vibrant roadside landscape. They include lumberjacks, cowboys, and Indians, but the first statues we spotted held big car mufflers, so we named them ‘Muffler Men.’

No.

I know what you’re thinking and I’m telling you right now: No.

America, I love you.

Keep off the enormous tricycle? What would be the point in that? Climb, swing, enjoy! Make sure you are fully insured with all of your shots up to date!

I honestly don’t think I’ve had more fun photographing anything, ever.

And this is how we got home.

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