The Lies of Vodka

Vodka, this isn't the worst lie you've ever told me. Maybe the least credible, though.

#Illinois2018 – On Road Trips

Americans see distances in a very different way to normal people… They just have so much more to work with. I know this is hardly a startling observation (Hey, have you noticed how big the US is?) but the truth of the cliché hit me hard as we traveled, my delightfully American wife and I, … Continue reading #Illinois2018 – On Road Trips →

Poop Table

More antiquing. More gems. I mean, this is a poop table, right? It can't be anything else.

On Fords

I’m weeks away from having paid off my car. Blanche is very nearly all mine. It’s taken 5 years but it’s the first car I’ve paid off since coming to this country, and it feels like a milestone of sorts. Another stamp on my Being a Grownup card. Of course, now I'm getting near to … Continue reading On Fords →

For Sale

OK, I'd buy it. A hearse. Sure. Except...how the hell would I park it?

On Preparing for a Road Trip: #Hillsboro2018

We’re heading up to Hillsboro, IL, for the Old Settlers Festival, which I imagine beforehand will be seven old people and a one-eyed boy pushing a dog in a buggy around the streets while a man holding a kitten waves an American flag behind a barricade. OK, the kitten is also waving a flag. To … Continue reading On Preparing for a Road Trip: #Hillsboro2018 →

Texas

Yes, people of the world, this is what Texas looks like. They're not kidding.

On Subjective Humor

Sure, of course, it hardly needs to be said. But I have in my head an idea of minimum word count, so let’s say it: humor is a very personal thing. How you choose to spend your day plays a large part in this. Medical professionals have a famously dark sense of humor, as a … Continue reading On Subjective Humor →

A real drink

Sure, it looks like a terrible accident has befallen two very different drinks but, no...this was done on purpose. And it was pretty good. Nothing like this gets invented at the parties I go to. I know the wrong type of people...