On Birthdays

When I turned 45, Jurgen Klopp sang me "Happy Birthday". Kinda. I just like to remember that.

46 Life Lessons for My Children

It's my birthday and, now I have passed the threshold of 45 years, I've decided - in the manner of the excellent and worldly Quindon Tarver's "Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen" - to share what I have learned up to now. This is for my kids, but you can read it too. A good ice-cream scoop … Continue reading 46 Life Lessons for My Children →

Proceed as if success is inevitable…

This is my new mantra. I am proceeding as if success is inevitable. I'll let you know how well that works while I play FIFA, go to the movies, and eat BBQ.

On Writing Expenses

As the words on my gravestone will emphasize: it could always be worse. I don’t do drugs or smoke. I gamble only with the amount of bacon I choose to wrap around my heart. “Drinking” means a bottle of beer occasionally after dinner…maybe two if my wife is having one of her shindigs. I don’t … Continue reading On Writing Expenses →

Control Valve

Another opportunity for cultural misunderstanding. In my country, this is a "door bell."

On That First Record

My band would be The Three O’Clock Sounds. My biographical first album would be called: Overcomplicating Everything. This would be the cover: Track list: Huh, That Was Easier Than I Thought It Was Going to Be You Drive, I’ll Navigate I Need to Buy This (To Write) It Sounded Funnier in My Head I’m Sure … Continue reading On That First Record →

Flicka

The past is a foreign country. They do things differently there.

Your wife is having a few of her colleagues over for drinks…

Your wife is having a few of her colleagues over for drinks… But that’s OK, because you have a man cave an office that you haven’t really broken in yet. Let them get drunk and boisterous out there. You can make your own fun. Right? Swordfishtrombones by Tom Waits is the first thing that goes … Continue reading Your wife is having a few of her colleagues over for drinks… →

Stunt Ranch

This, presumably, is the ranch that comes in and doubles for the other ranches, when they want to turn over a car or jump from a building.