Moving furniture for other people is some kind of rite of passage for a certain kind of college student around these parts. Often, when I was younger and helping someone move a couch, say, I’d think it was a viable career option for me.

It was not.

And now, as I head with increasing speed away from what could relatively be regarded as my “prime”, the appeal – or likelihood – of moving heavy furniture into and out of vans fades. What I’m saying is my first rule of house moving: if you can pay for two (or more) burly types to shift your stuff for you, it is very much a price worth paying. It’s faster than if you do it yourself, it is of course much much easier…and it will not destroy you physically.

Learn from my mistakes, people.

So, we have moved from a nice little apartment to a nice (if old and a little bit ramshackle) house here in the suburbs. I have a home office and the pups have a yard to guard from unwary joggers. It feels like a step up – not least when it comes to paying the rent and utilities every month. Boy, is it clear we’re living among the grown-ups then.

We did a lot of the packing ourselves. And there was a bare minimum of shifting stuff prior to the Big Move. The computer(s) went with us, and the dishware, some of the books, pictures, and other stuff that would speed things along but not take too much effort to load into the back of my tiny tiny car. Another top moving tip: don’t pack books into boxes. Books are heavy. Hoard sturdy plastic bags and put your books into those instead. A reasonably sized shopping bag full of books is not that hard to carry.

If you’re a collector of rare books, or one of those odd people who likes their graphic novels to be kept in pristine condition, this top tip is probably not for you.

An old house that’s been empty for at least some of the warmer months here in Texas will inevitably have some kind of “pest problem”. It does feel a little “buggy” to be honest. Lots of little nooks, green and leafy around the outside, dark and musty with a garage that looks like a murder-location-in-waiting. And, as of this – the third day in situ – I have so far found two dead, reasonably sized bug corpses. We need to put a stop to this nonsense before it gets to the summer and we might have a real problem.

The idea of piles of poisoned bug bodies littering the floors, to be found by two always-hungry pups, is just another worry to add to my collection.

Mostly, beyond the wildlife issue, the problem is a lack of storage. Where do people put their accumulated crap in these places? In our apartment, we had walk-in closets almost as big as the bedrooms we now have. That lets a person build up an unreasonable amount of unnecessary possessions. Now, we’re talking like we’re ready for some kind of spiritual detox. A Swedish Death Cleaning scenario.

Keep the minimum, get rid of everything else. That way, if you ever choose – or, through circumstances beyond your control, are forced – to live in an RV, you’re ready. Today seems to be one of my days for Being Wise. I hope it continues…

It won’t.

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