Advice for Austinites in Winter

So, summer’s over. It’s going to starting getting cold again.

Sure, it happens (almost) every year at this time, but we’re always surprised, right? A little snow on the ground and the only place open is…well, nothing. Nothing is open.

However, I am not from here – I am a proud and hardy Northern European. We are used to the cold, the snow, and the benefits of thick clothing and even thicker mugs of cocoa. And this, fair people of Texas, is my advice to you as the winter season approaches:

  1. It’s perfectly acceptable to not bathe at all during the cold winter months. That thin sheen of grime could be the most effective insulation you have.
  2. The same goes for adding a pound or two to your frame. Go for it – eat all that Xmas chocolate yourself. Before Xmas. In fact, do it now. It will keep you warm.
  3. Do not laugh at those who never adapt to a winter wardrobe – the too-cool folks who continue to wear shorts, flip-flops, and Hawaiian shirts, and sip their ice coffees as they wander the streets of downtown, whatever the weather. This is classic Darwinian behavior. We’re not all destined to make it to spring, people. Leave them be.

It’s a truism that a hard, cold winter kills off a lot of bug eggs in the ground, leading to a less-gross summer. I have no idea if it’s true, but it helps, just a little, as I step out of a hot shower into my bathroom that seems to have been transported to the planet Hoth. The cold is the price I’m prepared to pay for winter months with fewer scuttling things in the kitchens and bathrooms of our little slice of heaven. For me, at least, it’s a price worth paying.

Even if it means wearing socks for a month or two.

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