Look, I don’t know…I just love Halloween.

Not everything…not having a costume. Not having kids banging on our door for candy. I like the creepiness. I like how, for one night, we all pretend to embrace the things that scare us.

We allow ourselves to admit we’re afraid, and then we spend money on those things that make us feel a little off-kilter.

Like creepy ghost children.

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Even grocery shopping becomes a little more interesting.

And, for reasons I’ve not quite identified, I’m never slow to bring a new skull decoration into the apartment…

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My idea of “cool” may simply have stopped developing when I was 15 years old. It’s the most plausible explanation.

But, let’s be honest. Halloween is about dress-up. And if you’re a little too self-conscious to enjoy the idea for yourself, then you can project it elsewhere. Clearly, this is why some people choose to have children. It makes more sense than most of the other reasons prospective parents might come up with.

If you’re not in the market for a smelly infant – or if your family is especially uncooperative – then a pet makes an excellent alternative.

Here is John Henry in his fine skull-themed winter wear:

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And Ms Jordan in her winter line (which, it turned out, didn’t fit as well as we’d hoped):

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We’ll find her something better for the big day. And hopefully she’ll choose not to wreak her revenge on us as we sleep.

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