Remember how I was supposed to be giving up sugar? It's going really well.
Breakfast of Champions
Month: July 2017
On Training Jordan, Part 3
As soon as Jordan got into the training room, she immediately let us down. Under the watchful eye of a trainer we hadn't met before, first she lurched toward a skinny, nervous Alsatian mix, then toward a spaniel, then toward a table (she was on a roll at that point and didn't want to waste … Continue reading On Training Jordan, Part 3
Please do not stand on chairs
Every one of these chairs has this sign on it. Apparently people like to re-enact the ending of Dead Poets Society in Half-Price Books in Austin. Keep that kind of thing to the privacy of your own homes, people.
On happy thoughts
Recently, Guardian columnist Victoria Coren Mitchell wrote about how oppressive the current news cycles are and then suggested a list of things that make her happy. I think this is both an excellent idea and a relatively stress-free exercise for someone looking to maintain a weekly blog-posting schedule. In that spirit, here is my list. … Continue reading On happy thoughts
A hat on a fork. Really.
Sure, you're a restaurant, so why wouldn't you have an enormous fork outside just to drive home the point. And sure, you're attracting people to come in and celebrate graduation, so you use a graduation cap to catch the eye of potential customers. But then you end up with a cap on a fork. And … Continue reading A hat on a fork. Really.
On First Impressions
It’s a little after 6.30 a.m. and, standing on the porch of my first apartment in America, I watch the torrential downpour outside. It’s dramatic: rain in an angry, determined deluge that just doesn't happen back home, and I'm glad I'm living a little way up a hill and not in a flood zone. The … Continue reading On First Impressions
Monster
So, I'm not saying that our apartment complex is being terrorized by a huge but invisible creature that takes bites out of discarded furniture. But then I'm not not saying that, if you know what I mean...
On Training Jordan, Part 2
Training a dog the modern way takes a lot of treats. You see, if you're not going to dominate your puppy into doing as they're told, as people did in the dark days of the too-recent past, then you have to bribe them with treats. And, at least at the beginning, Jordan needed a lot … Continue reading On Training Jordan, Part 2
Mating Season
June in Austin, TX, is shopping cart mating season. As you can see, sometimes the vigorous nature of the copulation leads to casualties. They died doing what they love.
On Interviews
I am doing temp work at a Major Publisher after being laid off, and it was boring and generally awful. One guy is keeping a close eye on me, making sure I pick up projects from the project-pick-up desk, with this passive-aggressive bonhomie that makes me want to kill him with a paperclip. He says … Continue reading On Interviews
Small Change on Strangers 