The 10 Stages of a New Yorker Subscription

  1. I am going to better myself and my whole family! I will spend hours reading old stories in the newly available online vault.
  2. The first magazine arrives – I read it cover to cover, pass it around, and we discuss the issues over dinner.
  3. 5 issues in, we’re skipping the poems.
  4. 10 issues in, we’re promising to read the really long articles and the short stories when we have more time. Maybe when we have a vacation. They’re really easy to pack, right?
  5. 15 issues in, I am reading the movie reviews, plus interesting links to the online version if I see them on my Facebook feed.
  6. Liking the covers.
  7. Storing them as soon as they arrive.
  8. Didn’t I cancel this? Are they sending one every damn day?
  9. Giving them away to homeless people.
  10. Liberal guilt.

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