They don’t tell you about the volcano hidden under downtown. The state legislators do a good job of keeping it quiet. But once every 25 years or so, it explodes. Last time, it was lucky that Willie Nelson was here. He rode right into the flames on his horse, saved six women, seven children, a policeman, and an armadillo. All of them piled up high on the back of his horse like sacks of combustible leaf matter.
Watch for signs around town for when the volcano is due to go again. Locals know. They’re not allowed to say, but they get the message out any way they can.
The Hot Lava Obstacle Course is coming sometime this summer. Don’t be the one that Willie has to save this time around.