I can see there being two schools of thought with this creative diorama: there is nothing wrong with this tableau; there is everything wrong with this tableau. Option 3, of course, is "What's a 'tableau' fancy-Dan?" The good people of Llano see this every day. Some expertly taxidermied deer running wild and crazy behind a … Continue reading Stripper Diorama
In April 2014, I was laid off for the first time. I now have to begin looking for work in Texas, my home for 4 years. I begin the job search in my time-honored fashion: I get other people to do the hard work for me. This is how I demonstrate my management skills. My … Continue reading On Being Unemployed in Texas: Part II
They were sold out. Which is fine because obviously we didn't need any extra. Obviously.
People have two reactions when they meet our dog: "He's SO CUTE!" or "HE'S SO WEIRD LOOKING...AND CUTE!" Personally, I was one of the latter group. I may even have foolishly said that pugs were weird looking and I would never have one. And then, in the animal rescue shelter, here we were – being … Continue reading The Ballad of John Henry
Once again, the social and cultural vanguarders of Wal*Mart are showing us the way, this time in retail signage. Here was something I spotted as I was willingly and without complaint being dragged around the working rights giant's female make-up-and-dye aisles. Genius. This Stuff Goes On Your Face. It was only as I was asking … Continue reading For Your Face
April 2014 was the month when my mother was proved right. Her lifelong philosophy of bad luck is that bad things come in threes. April saw me divorced, $3,000 stolen from my bank account, and then I was suddenly and unexpectedly laid off from my pleasantly comfortable office job. I say it was unexpected, but … Continue reading On Being Unemployed in Texas: Part I
Well, to answer your question, obviously we should take it. And say "Thank you." Because anything else would be rude. Let me know if you have any more questions because that one was kind of easy. No offense.
Life lets you know you’re getting older. Not necessarily by robbing you of your hair. Maybe you’ve been receding follically since, say, your 15th birthday or so. You may, in fact, be on a journey that you like to think of as “Less shampoo, more soap”. And anyway, you’ve hit a certain age and the … Continue reading On Not Growing Up But Growing Old
I am old, so sometimes I find myself unnecessarily impatient with perfectly nice younger people. The kind of people who have babies and then post every minute of every day of their child's perfectly normal, average life on social media. "Jimmy doesn't sleep! Isn't he AMAZING?!" Having a child is amazing. It just makes me … Continue reading On Dogs, Babies…and Poop